Did you really care.. Care enough for me.. [Reflection-Mariah C. Glitter OST]

Hmm.. mcm selalu saja ku mempost.. hmm i guess so.. Well.. ini adalah satu cara saya untuk.. merehatkan minda saya.. selepas.. berjam jam.. membaca buku.. maklum periksa month.. Oh~ cut the crap.. Ok let see.. hmm.. my life? hmm so far so gud? maybe maybe not.. emm.. sumthing is missing in my life.. hmm apa ah? gf?? .. naah~ alum ku terpikir sal atu.. belajar dulu.. *hehe membual tu eh* but honestly.. theres sumthin that i wish and hoped to happen but i knoe.. its useless coz.. i knoe it wont happen haha apakan.. nada bah.. im missing sumthing in my life.. and its bugging me.. but to be frank with you guys.. i dont knoe wat is it..? hehe yeah i think im going crazy.. blame the exams!! my mind inda straight eh this past few days.. with Fadhli.. mengajar aku ter-nigga nigga terikut2an tah ku jua haha.. oh~ life at soas.. would'nt be perfect if Blackpanther nada haha.. hmm.. below are some Simple post

Monday 24th October 2005

No exam today.. but we went to school for group study or to discuss sumthin or cerita2ing sama kawan.. I revised my chesmistry rather than preparing for my biology pratical that morning.. but then Salam came and asked some questions to the bio peeps, so i decided to join them too.. well.. Gud thing Razy brought some past year papers {Bio paper 3} . So he teach me dilution thingi.. but then i wasnt worried that much bout my bio pratical, but during my last chem pratical.. i was really damn nervous.. bout it.. hmm why? dont knoe why.. so i continue reading my chemistry note.. oyeah talking bout chemistry.. i got my note back.. pangiz aka faiz accidently brought my notes. =) so i hav two chesmitry note lah.. gud thing its not same.. my 1st copy the option is Phase Equilibria and Tansition elements while the other copy that i recently photocopy from KillerAngel has the option Enviromental.. hmm Hamdi said.. Mental tu eh.. hmm naah~ no lah. i wont get angry to pangiz hehe.. his frendly guy wah~

While i was busy with my chemistry most of the boys were busy with their math.. after revising.. its time for social haha.. yeah we crack up a bit.. then i went outside heading toward the library to check out whos there.. Adui~ peko was there.. inda sound2 ia datang ah.. Waah Lawa baju nya.. baby purple.. lawa lah.. then went back to the ps room.. sampai sana.. i told everyone that lawa baju si peko.. haha.. out~ toing nada urang cam peduli lah.. Boring~ so sambung ceritalah..

Azrul came back from sumwhere he just went hehe *privacy wah* so when all the guys udah balik.. yg tingal aku, hamdi and mail.. we started cerita about "sumthin" well sumthing to do with azrul lah.. then si Peko datang.. *toing~ si mail pun kelawaan haha.. so mail and aku was busy guessing the price of peko's Shirt.. Toing atu mahal.. then lepas menyibuk sal baju tu.. {the picture above shows peko baju yalah his wearing it lah~} we continue discussing Azrul so-called "issue" haha

Theres one word he said that made us really laugh.. well also the way he said it lah.. its not like him wah.. the words doesnt rymes and the words are like tugang terbalik.. so we laughed lah.. si hamdi whos busy with his HP pun ketewa.. I cant really remember wat he said but he said sumthin bout saving a gurl. Quote from Azrul "Sebelum tergugur.. dari bridge ku selamat kan lah" we were like huh? apakan.. hamdi and mail was laughing loudly.. peko biasa ketewa macho.. mahal kali ah.. aku emm.. as usual ketewa like earthquake.. but he really make it nonsense wah.. we ask him to repeat wat he said.. he repeated the same word.. atu heng eh oleh nya.. it was funny lah.. but then azrul hav to answer phone call.. dari seseorang..

Peko, Mail, hamdi sama aku tingal untuk cerita.. so.. Aku lah random bercerita sal people that i chat with.. so random for each individual i chated.. and the style are alway same fpr that particular person.. for example.. hmm my cuzn.. everytime i chated with me.. its all about bio.. never changes.. emm.. dont want to exagerate eh

Tuesday, 25th October 2005

Today Bio pratical.. its was ok lah.. but then kusut ku jua lah.. hehe pelampau pintar.. haha suka ku.. hmm oyeah Killer angel.. Told us bout the new school muah.. jeles ku eh pre u baru tu.. Ngok benar.. And malam i chated with KillerAngel.. So she told me that.. SOAS technician.. Mrs. Ong Bee Ling will be leaving soon.. Lagi Ngok.. kesian eh.. shes nice.. muah muah~ Usually we see her time bio pratical.. hehe.. sal Dr. Azeez awal keluar ada claz.. so ia kena suruh Jaga.. since kami bising.. kena suruh diam oleh nya haha.. LoL.. kiddies benar.. Anyway kan tu bising ah ? Oyeah usually before kami keluar Bio Lab. mesti ia cakap.. Thank Q.. hehe rajin wah aku sama judeen and teh geng akhir keluar. well.. cam jobless lah lelaki nya memanyap kan.. everything.. Hmm i dont really knoe her that much.. but im sure going to miss her jua.. coz shes nice and frendly jua lah..

Killer send me some photo of the new school.. mikin ngok ku oleh gambar ah. lawa kali ah.. mcm antah mcm lawa lah.. catu lah~ by the time ku jadi cikgu di sana buruk tia.. emm will i be a teacher? think ku dulu lah..

Wednesday, 26th October 2005

Went to school saja.. belajar chemistry.. and membual arah si mail and si hamdi saja.. suka ku durang ah~ si toh ikut join jua.. so berpikir lah durang oleh ku.. hehe.. im gud~

Malam.. suka ku. kapai kapai ku minta tolong arah si amal hehe.. btw bagus jua lah.. dapat numbur telipun rumahnya.. dapat call bapa and mama mertua muah muah~ membual lagi~ Yalah.. as i said minta tolong arah Amal.. its sal Bio ah.. mcm tah ku pernah liat Pratical designing.. oh im loving my Sir right now~ So she ask me to call her.. suka ku eh.. its like 40% sal Bio Pratical and the other 60% bercerita.. suka ku~ oyeah.. OMG.. Personally. her voice melt me.. sikit saja jgn banyak.. lain bunyinya karang haha.. suka ku eh hot nie karang topic ah.. haha.. Just want to thanks Amal again.. for teaching me desingning ah.. well altho inda keluar but maybe i can use it in the future.. Oyeah suka ku si Amal ah ia baca blog ku hehehe and wats make me more happier is HE CALL MUSA PINKY!! how cute~

Thursday, 27th October 2005

Never too care.. but never care too little..
Morning it was great lepas maghrib kena ONG ku pulang oleh this sumone.. haha Mus Malang nasib ku.. ko inda jua kena ONG eh.. Shit~ salah.. Peko Style DAMN~ Well mus.. It wasnt a gud idea to kacau ia ah?? DAMN~ mana main tu.. ko inda kena marahi eh.. bukan marahi lah. just sakit hati.. before i cerita kan part atu.. ku ceritakan kamu wats yg best belaku tadi..

Morning Bio Pratical.. SHIT.. kenapa ia microsope tu kan.. mana walid suka tu. ai~ melukis tu.. suka berabis ku.. lawa lagi lukisan kanak kanak wah.. ~ oh well the was ok i hope.. but i was so smart to put Vacuole bukan pulang cytoplasm.. happy udah ku.. menyesal ku tanya si razy.. kenapa ia kusut.. sama mistake sal Vacuole ah.. DAMN~ tahu tah ku aku salah..

Peko wasnt in sgud condition tadi haha.. shit~ *wah i keep swearing eh* maklum mood swing..* sal his bio prac ah.. elah.. i should gav him some answer tadi hehe.. we fren like to share2 answer wah.. walid mana tamak.. not like sum people.. so stingy.. but sera said sumtime its better to be selfish.. sal to enjoy life.. haha suka ku eh budak tu.. wait shes older than me kah? oh nevermind hehe.. so peko nie decided to watch movie.. rasa buang stress.. hehe.. so join saja tia..

At PS room most of the boys beljar math.. fadhli sama aku lately mikin heng lah..~ palau wah i atu.. Nigga tah benar.. oyeah.. tadi si Peko jadi my mentor saja wah kan minta ajar supaya diam relax.. emm peace.. cam urang lain ah.. haha.. mcm ia lah.. seriously.. i CANT SHUT UP!! haha even for one minute.. excpet if im alone.. and i cant do nothing.. mesti ku inda teranah tu.. well.. oh well.. thats my unique.. but sumtim i do feel i want to be like sumone.. quiet teranah.. but then im ok with my life.. im cool with it. but i dont mind buat silence theraphy with my Mentor Peko again.. seriously will it work? walid diam ? hmm not a right combination haha.. oh well maybe when im mikin old.. like ada Gf kah, berbini kah im sure.. mikin tua mikin diam jua kali aku nie hehe..

Lepas berulah sama si fadhli k library ku sambung my chem revison. razy was wit opps cant remember.. tahtu ada si pinky... opps sorry musa.. masuk then si Pekoo.. *toing jadi k mall liat movie hehe* iski aku ah* yg ikut.. peko, Pinky.. opss mistake again musa, hamdi, mail and saya..

The mall.. liat wayang emm.. The tulang kunci.. well in english the Skeleton Key.. hehe bnyk tragedi yo.. sebelum liat movie and semasa liat movie and selepas liat movie.. nak tahu? sila lah baca lagi.. hehe

Well after buying our tickets.. masuk cinema then these romantic scene by the boys.. kami lah~ dalam cinema.. well.. ISKI!! lelaki nya.. testing Couple seat haha.. sekadar eh.. seorang2 tah imagine duduk siring fantasy Gurlfren haha.. eh guess wat? peko is learning eh.. hehe i hope u guys understand that.. I guess NOT!! oh well lepas atu aku turun ke bawah sekali depan sekali.. and found.. err apa nama scientific and english word tempat socket current nie.. yalah rioh lah ku.. i said dapat charging mobile..

Tahtu Si peko running down toward me.. and there i saw the first.. peko is just a normal.. guy ahaha.. wat the hell.. seriously.. he was like emm.. like that wah *sorry cant share with you guys wat i saw.. coz private sikit* ialah catu wah.. aku bangang nie wah.. wat he said tadi.. sekali sekala haha. but let just say he was so very happy.. its not like him hehe.. after ku tegur tu.. aduh~ kena hantam ku oleh nya.. well his a fan of wrestling so.. its normal. so jarih ku 4 5 secs katanya kan buang stress haha.. tahtu balas dendam ku ku kelitik ia haha.. palui dua dua bergulik arah lantai.. mati eh Kiddies eh.. well its fun thow.. btw im only SEVEnTEEEEEN wah haha.. trying to enjoy life while a still can hehe hmm dats why single to the miggle can be fun hehe

Then ada tia.. group of people masuk cinema tu ish kacau eh.. siok udah main main.. mcm we own the place.. so duduk tempat kami lah.. we r on the rigth side, Musa, Hamdi, Walid, Peko and Mail.. hehe.. Kiddies tengah tengah.. Giler im addicted to the words Pinky, Kiddies and the other word for callling Peko hehe.. opss~ nevermind.. so movie was on lah haha. suka ku eh meliat cerita.. Hantu or cerita yg memberi terkejut nie hehe.. we boys nie mcm gurls jua.. haha.. TERKEJUT HAHA.. but then peko said kalau sama bini2 paksa act emm wat he said ah.. Berani haha.. Palui.. 3-4 times kali ku berteriak haha.. haha terkejut ku eh inda ku ready mentally for that haha

Lepas tu sembahyang Zuhur.. Then jalan jalan.. cuci mata dulu.. ada tia this gurl mencari kasut.. kataku si amal. coz i knoe her spec wah.. then sombdy said urang STPRI.. daa~ obvios kali ah. Hijau haha.. then musa said. AMAL jua tu. haha giler eh.. tentang2 si amal for a few secnd.. well musa sama aku lah haha.. opps foget sal ada mamanya hehe.. then takut feel akward depan her mum jalan kami hehe.. then cari Cd then went to GreenCyber durang main CS.. then went home..

On da way balik rumah berulah lagi tu aku sama si musa ah. hehe. siapa dulu kan di antar hehe.. si Musa kena hantar awal ah.. hehe. rasa wah aku ah.. iski~

Hmm the sad part.. Musa and i.. well i planned dont blame mus.. ia agree saja.. tu kacau this guy wah.. dont want to reveal his name.. this is just for discussion.. well kami nie kan menanya ia lah.. coz ia inda invite kali jalan lah.. hehe.. saja.. but then.. kena ONG ku eh.. its ouch pulang. want to knoe wat he said..? i guess so..

?: "biar ku ckp cani lid lgi bisai"
?: "u expect evrytime kmi jln sungkai mesti bawa ko kah?"
?: "giv ppl some space lah lid"
WalidFreak:"oh dats how u say lah.. ok understand.."

The moral for people out there.. its better not to be rude.. even though theres nothing u can do bout it.. how simple and kind person always say.. "Sorry.. jumpa sumone tadi" or "Sorry, lain kali ku bawa ko" well.. at least you giv a reason or make up any x-cuses which doesnt hurt people feelings.. directly or indirectly.. or the gud way is.. by saying that can cheer him/her pulang.. Wats the point giving an x-cuse and in the same time hurting sumone.. hmm well i dont blame him. coz i knoe who i am too.. who does want to hang out with me too? annoying and noisy in the same time.. even razy said *the last time we went out* "Lid ko nie memalu kan eh" how i dont care wat people said about me but then how sad i felt when i think about it.. How imperfect and unnormal i am.. like you guys is my weakness.. how i wanted to be sumone that i cant be.. How i wish to learn silence from sumone but i cant do.. its all my weakness.. i wish i was like him him him.. but im just me me me. Atitude is hard to remove or change.. not like the cloth u change everyday.. sumtime i wish all the people can accept me and understand who i am.. but then in this world full of dreams.. some dream will just remain as a dream..

Wat make me sad.. is.. after wat had happend.. he send me home.. in the past.. i just cant see his sincerness.. ke ikhlasan nya tu.. "Giv sum people some space" did i really bother his life.. hmm cant really see it *garu garu kepala* hmm nevermind wat does he mean by space tu.. coz his not my driver.. and i still can counts how many times he send me back home so.. so giving him same space.. oh my god.. watever lah.. giv sum space.. kalau gf and bf paham ku lah..mesti bagi space.. hmm weird. im not that so attached to him.. think it over kan ketewa ku pulang eh.. hehe *Weird* naah *its FREAKY~* how much space he need? im not mad but sad..

hmm tak apalah.. maybe i deserve this.. i knoe who i am.. oyeah just ingat kan aku to say thankQ to peko again.. coz.. antah i just hope his really ok sending me home.. or im just menyusah kan my fren lagi.. oh how i wish i want to belike superman. Zoom terabang k sana anytime hehe.. can sumbody buy me pizza.. coz.. i really need want to cool me off.. daa karang lagi periksa Toing~

Btw any more person or any people want me to give them some space? anyone? anyone? just kindly ask me ok.. i wont mind.. for the better of yourself..

how frens can make you happy.. how frens can make you sad.. or even worst.. but then i question myself.. do i really deserve this? maybe.. maybe not~

But then chating with amal, Yush, Pinky.. eh pinky saja jua eh.. musa.. n sera it did cool me sikit.. thnkx guys.. hav a nice exam~