Let the Almighty Decide for me

I was about to post sumthin yesterday.. but ill just save it as a draft.. its too detail bout me and sumone.. i just dont feel like to share with you guys.. its very long.. spend 3hrs to finished that post.. emm.. I cant really study for the past three days.. my mood sucks.. ive been thinking bout this frenship with sumone.. bout 9 mnths i lefted it behind.. and about 9 mnths i started a new life and now its comming back.. its not my ego preventing me to giv him a chance.. its the pain that i suffered last year alone all by myself.. when you u have a fren.. which u think more than a fren and more than a bestfren.. like you take him as part of your family.. and suddenly he betrayed you.. How would you feel? how would you take it? How do you feel when you think his the one who you really trust and expect him to be next to you supporting you.. but unfortunately he was supporting ur enemy..? You tried to make him listen to you unfortunately he asked u pulang to listen to ur enemy and lefted you behind when you reealy need a support?

My last post i did mention "Learn to Forgive n Forget" well it applies here.. i forgive but i cant forget.. maybe i need more time to forget.. im ashamed to admit that im scared to get hurt thats why i decided to leave the world of brotherhood behind. and im ashamed to admit that im one of the human being who likes to runaway from poblems rather than facing it..

I just want to post this stuff coz i dont like keeping it by myself anymore.. i dont really share personal stuff with my BestFrens.. I just want you guys to think.. is it worth to go back and act as if nothing had happend in the past? is it worth again when you give so much luv and care in past n took him as your family but in the end he betrayed you...? is it worth for all those pain i suffered alone last and expect ur so called brother to be your hero..? and in the end you knoe that the frenship was just an new n odinary frenship. Is it my mistake? Its easy for me to make a fren with my enemy and to forget about the war we had. But a fren that you took him as part of your family, your brother suddenly betrayed you.. how can i forget that? Last but not least.. I love my past but is it worth it?

Almighty.. Please Give Me Strength